Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah and Season's Greetings!
By the time you read this, you'll no doubt be drunk on wine, cheese and Turkey, probably feeling a little bit sick at the thought of how many calories you've consumed in the space of several short hours and watching some crappy film - I certainly am.
I am also obsessed by the sales. I am currently lying in our bedroom, obsessively scouring the online sales for dishwashers, TVs and fridges, like some self-flaggelating weirdo.
The reason I call myself a self-flaggelating weirdo is that despite our best efforts, we didn't manage to exchange and complete before Christmas. We didn't even manage to exchange. The whole situation is very frustrating as we'd hoped to start buying essentials like a new bathroom (old one needs complete gutting) in the Boxing Day sales. It is doubly torturous as for the third year running, I compiled our annual Boxing Day sales guide for the newspaper where I work and so have known for the last two weeks of every single discount going, yet I am unable to utilise most of them - except Topshop, there's always time for a little bit of Topshop.
Of course, we could buy some things like a new TV or pots and pans but there's a tiny bit of me that is superstitious about doing so, like it will stop the entire process going through. So instead, I find myself staring longingly at integrated dishwashers like a dieter stares at photos of cake and boring my poor boyfriend to the verge of tears with it all.
Poor Mr Flatzilla.